lol... Im Baaack!

Yes, yes I know... my last post stated that I was back to Weight Watchers, back to the gym etc. Well, life had other plans. It was an interesting summer personally for me, one which made me step back and take a long hard look at my life. I had some eye opening experiences to say the least... but anyway....

I also had months and months of one sickness after another. It would go in about 2 week cycles where I would get sick, feel icky, finally start feeling better, have about 5 days of feeling good and then I would be sick again. So, after an irritating sickness schedule I finally went to a doctor that decided the best thing was to have my tonsils out. It has been one week since surgery and though my throat is still very sore and I cant eat anything I am hoping that it will cure my sickness cycle.

So, thats why Im here.... my personal life finally feels a little under control, my sickness is hopefully taken care of and I have no more excuses to put things off any longer. I will say that I have maintained my weight at 160 all summer so that I am proud of!

I am excited to start my execise journey AGAIN! and to catch up with all of you! It will take time for me to get my energy back but Im ready to go!!!

I have been bad...

...so, so, so bad!

Its a habit I have. I am going along fairly nicely, eating well, exercising and then WHAM! All of a sudden I stop. And not just stop one thing, I stop them all... no exercising, no Weight Watchers, nothin! I also stop blogging as you can tell :)

Well, this little set back has not lasted as long as some. I sucked it up, went to Weight Watchers this morning to see what the damage was (+3) and met my trainer at the gym this afternoon. I am determined to get back on track. Summer is just right around the corner people! :)

Weigh In

In my last post I was so worried that I wouldnt be able to stay within my daily points and not use ANY bonus points (since I didnt have any left). Well, I did it! I stayed within my points for 2 days and when I pulled up here I felt really good.Staying in my points and tracking paid off. I lost 1.6 pounds!! Yay me!
This week I will continue to track my points and I will also kick up my exercise so hopefully next week I can have a loss as well. I also wanted to thank you all for your encouraging words!

Weekly Update

Well, here is how my week has gone. I still have 2 days until weigh in and my points start over and I have ZERO bonus points left. I splurged a little when we went out for Valentines Day yesterday. The good news is that I didnt go OVER my allotted points. Now I just have to eat really well the next two days.


I was reading this magazine today (Muscle and Fitness Hers). Now these types of magazines inspire me for some reason. I love looking at the pictures and seeing the workouts the pros do. Do these magazines inspire you or discourage you?

One of the ads in this magazine inspired me... I loved what it said and I hope to be there someday soon. Here's what the ad said....

My body is like a canvas
Motivation is my brush
I control every curve
and make no excuses
I turn heads
and hold my head high
I have no bad angles
I am confident in every light
I break limitations
Quitting is not an option

Weigh in...

So, today was my first Weight Watchers weigh in... Ugh!

I lost .4 .... yes, POINT 4 pounds. I am trying NOT to be upset and NOT to get frustrated. But Come On! And yes, its still a loss blah, blah, blah. I was just hoping for more. Ok... now that that's out of my system I will be positive and continue on my journey ... but I think Im gonna blame that scrawny weight loss on the Super Bowl :)

How to eat an elephant?

Have you ever heard the quote "How do you eat an elephant? ... One bite at a time"

I heard that tonight and it really hit home. I have been feeling rather frustrated with my weight loss recently and when I heard this I had to remind myself that just like I cant eat an elephant in one bite, I cant lose all the weight I want in one day or one week, or even one month. Its going to take time. I am going to have setbacks. I am going to have to work for it (even though I dont want to sometimes).

I also need to remember to focus on MY elephant and not someone elses. We all have things we are working towards and even though someone may seem perfect, they are not. They have problems too. Its sometimes hard to remember that when you're at the gym and the skinny b$%#'s on the treadmill next to you are complaining about having to buy a size 7 pants! Thats when I have to chant "everyone has problems, everyone has problems" :)

This post was more for me than for anyone else, I just had to vent and remind myself to eat my elephant one bite at a time.Although, It wouldn't hurt if my elephant lost some weight so I had a smaller elephant to eat :)

Thin is the New Happy

This is what Im reading right now. I must admit that I bought the book based solely on the picture on the cover. I was thinking "I can relate to that, I must see what this book is about" :)

Im about half way through and I must say that I love it. The Author, Valerie Frankel has so many good points and sayings. I have had several "AHA" moments.

First, We all know the 5 stages of grief right. Well, did you know that they can be applied to dieting. Here, let me tell you...
1. Denial: "This diet is going to be the one that works"
2. Anger: "Everyone else has cake!"
3. Bargaining: "I cheated today so I will work out extra hard tomorrow"
4. Depression: "I cant believe I ate that whole thing"
5. Acceptance: "Its useless, I will never be thin."

The first paragraph had me sucked in... "Im a diet addict. I exist on a continuous loop of starting a diet, recovering from one and planning the next. Im either counting calories, fat grams, carbs or the number of days until I begin anew (and it's always "for the last time"). Dieting defines me."

Those are just a few of the highlights from the beginning of the book. I will blog more about it when I finish it.

On another note, weigh in is in 2 days and I ate a TON for the Super Bowl. I had saved ALL my bonus points to use so Im hoping it didnt hurt me too badly. I guess we will see how I did on Wednesday :)

Meet the Newest Weight Watchers Member

Ok, I did it... I gave in and joined Weight Watchers, AGAIN! I am rather excited about this new plan. I think its important that carbs are taken into calculation and because I am a carb addict I am hoping that watching my carbs will help my weight loss. I am also excited that fruits are zero points.

Today was my first day counting points and I did so good! I stayed right within my points and didnt use any of my bonus points. I drank all my water and got in all my dairy. I need to work on adding more fruits and veggies but I stopped at the grocery store and stocked up so I think I will do better tomorrow.

I attached a picture of me today on my way to the gym. I made a few small notes of the things I am hoping to change with Weight Watchers and my exercise program. My 5% goal is 8 pounds. I would like to have that lost by March 1st. So, here we go!

To Join or Not to Join...

I have been debating lately whether to join Weight Watchers again or not. I know their program works. I have done it before and I always lose weight. Here's my dilemma... I know they just changed their program and I dont want to have to buy all new books. Silly huh. I need to just join because I always do better when I have to be accountable and I have to weigh in. Ive heard the new program is really good. Ok, Ive talked myself into it... I will keep you all posted.

On another note I weighed myself this morning and I am down 2.5 pounds. Yay me!

Fear Number Two...

Ok people, this is a big day. The day that I conquer one of my biggest fears! I have NEVER liked telling people what I weighed even when I was at my thinnest so for me to post my weight on here for all to see is a huge step in the right direction. I have come to the realization that I need to stop hiding from my weight. After all, it is just a number (one that I pay WAY too much attention to) but a number just the same. I need to focus on how I am feeling, how my clothes fit etc. Not the number on the scale. So, Im going to try! Here we go...

My weight as of this morning- 165 pounds
Goal Weight- 135 pounds

30 pounds to go!!

Fear Number One!

Ok, so my last blog was all about fear and one of my biggest fears is posting pictures of myself. I will only post a pic of myself on my blog, facebook... anywhere if I dont have double chins, my thighs arent showing and I look fairly acceptable. Well, Im ready to face that fear. I am posting a VERY unattractive "before" picture.

Now, let me explain about this "before" picture. Yes, its before... because I have lost weight since then, about 15-20 lbs (not exactly sure). But I am using the "After" picture as my "before" picture from here on out. Did that make sense? I am still about 30 pounds from my goal weight and I have really, REALLY been slacking!

So, as part of facing my fears I am posting these pics to jump start my weight loss again. To show me where I have been and what I have done so far but still as a reminder of how far I have yet to go.

Ok... here I go.... deep breath... publish post.... now!

I am INSPIRED!!

I just finished watching the movie, Julie and Julia with Meryl Streep. I am inspired. The movie is based on a true story of a woman who cooked her way through Julia Child's entire cookbook and blogged about it along the way. She gave herself a deadline of one year to finish what she set out to do. And while I have no desire to cook my way through Julia Child's cookbook, or any cookbook for that matter. I do have my own goals that I would love to accomplish. Goals that are constantly set and constantly never reached. So what is my main goal, you ask? One that you know I have, one that I think everyone has...lose weight. But not only lose the weight, become healthy, become fit, become more active.

I have started this daunting task many, many, many, many times and each time I give up. Yes, I have had some success but not the kind of success that I desire. As I ponder the way I have tackled this goal time and time again I have finally realized that fear has held me back. Not the fear of being thin. But the fear of failure. Usually when I start down the long daunting road of diet and exercise I don't tell anyone that I've started this journey because I don't want everyone monitoring what I eat. I don't want people to think "she's no thinner than the last time I saw her, I thought she was on a diet". I also have NEVER told anyone an actual starting weight or measurement.

So how has this movie inspired me? It has made me realize that we are all human beings. We all have goals that we have never reached. Most of us have my exact goal and very few of us actually reach the goal of weighing less and being more healthy. What am I so afraid of? So people will know what I actually weigh...so what. My true friends won't judge me because of it. And I may just get the support I need instead of the criticism that I fear. And maybe...just maybe if I can get up the courage to actually post a starting weight and inches I will have the courage to reach my goal once and for all. And if I inspire anyone else along the way than that's just a bonus!

**On a side note- looking back at previous posts, they are so sporatic with no regularity... Im going to try to fix that! :)